Roundy’s Stoic Approach to Nurturing Decency in Kids

I sit here at a coffee shop in my small town in Virginia, reading a book intended to help me be a better dad. It’s called The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids by Ryan Holliday. The book is structured to be easily accessible, allowing parents to read and reflect on one meditation each day. It provides a valuable resource for busy parents seeking daily reminders, encouragement, and insights to help them become their best parents.

Today’s meditation is about decency.

May 18th, Teach them to do the right thing….

“Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter.” -Marcus Aurelius.

This meditation talks about a novel, “a man called Ove” This young man works on a railyard with his father. One day while Ove was cleaning one of the rail cars with co-worker Tom, they came across a few items left behind by passengers. Tom found a briefcase and decided to keep it, Ove found a wallet with a lot of money inside. Shortly after discovering this wallet, Oves father walks in and asks his son what he would like to do with the wallet. Ove suggests they return it to lost and found, where it is quickly claimed by the woman that lost it. The woman says, “Not many people have handed in this much money.” The father replies. “Many people don’t have any decency either.” Later that evening, Ove asks his father why they didn’t tell management about the briefcase (the one Tom stole). The father replies with. “We’re not the sort of people who tell the tails about what others do.”

There’s a lot to be learned in this meditation. 

I interpreted this as Ove’s father showing his son how to lead with decency and what decency looks like. The shared Marcus Aurelius’s Quote at the beginning of this post says, “Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter.” to be a decent person is not about others. It’s not about credit and ego. It’s about what you do and how you teach your kids to be decent. Teach them by showing them how to be decent. At the end of this meditation, Ryan Holliday says, “It’s not something you wield; it’s not something you gossip about. It’s something you embody and embrace.”

I (we) need to remind ourselves to lead children with decency by showcasing how to be decent. To be empathetic and compassionate, a father that leads with decency understands and acknowledges the emotions and needs of their children. When you lead with decency, you encompass a culture of fairness and respect. Be the ethical role model your children need, treating others with kindness and compassion. Making decisions that prioritize the well-being and dignity of ALL individuals.

I will remind myself daily to be the father that leads with decency. Always do the right thing, and the rest doesn’t matter.

Roundy